Sunday, January 10, 2010

Dear Amazon

Where is my book? I ordered it mid-December. You sent me an email on the 29th, telling me you had shipped it, and it was due to arrive on January 8th. I still don't have it. Did you send it by donkey? I realize the book was written in 1926, so I've had plenty of time to buy a copy before last year, but dammit, man! People ride across the country on bicycles in 8 days!

Are the angry book spirits punishing me for snubbing the local bookshop and saving 37% off the cover price? Will it still have that new-book smell when it finally arrives, or will it reek of cargo holds and cigarettes? Or donkey?

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